Cricket, without any doubt is India’s favourite sport so much so that it is now fundamentally included in the list of world religions! And that what is followed widely is also talked about widely and hence, has not just buzzes but also plentiful of jokes on the topic. Today, Gutshot brings to you a sack full of ‘rolling on the floor and laughing’ (ROFL) jokes that will get you rolling on the floor and laughing for at least minutes!
Read on to get clean bowled with laughter;
In a local match, the umpire was being jeered and called names with hatered by the crowd. He next walked over to the boundary and sat down beside the man who yelled the most curses at him. “What are you doing?” asked the spectator. “Well,” said the umpire, “it seems you get the best view from here.”
An amateur umpire about to begin his career in cricket asked- “I’ve never umpired a cricket match before. Do I have to run after the ball?” “No, after the match.” Said the coach
Indian cricket team’s senior batsman was on the phone to the captain, trying to explain why he couldn’t play the next day. “No, I can’t let you off the game,” the captain said. “If I did, then I would have to do the same for any other player whose wife dies.’
Two cricketers from India and Pakistan, each were talking to one another. Pakistani player said: “The team wants me to play for them very badly”. “Well, you’re just the man for the job”. Said the Indian
What did the cricket fan miss when she went to the bar? The entire England innings.
What do you call an Englishman who’s good with a bat? A vet.
What does an Englishman put in his hands to guarantee there’s a wicket in the next ball? A bat.
What is the height of optimism? An English batsman putting on sunscreen.
What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer? Retired
What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies? Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
A cricket fanatic once asked the priest off the local church, allegedly with good connections with the divine whether cricket was played in heaven. The priest replied:” I can’t tell you now, but if you come back on Sunday, I might have an answer.” On Sunday the priest told the cricketer: “I’ve had a good news and a bad news, each. The good news is: Yes, there is cricket in heaven. And now, for the bad news: You are in to bat on Friday!”
An expectant father called at the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he dialled the number for Lord’s. “How’s it going?” he asked. “Fine,” came the answer, “We’ve already got two out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck.